Idolatry: Registration

First I woke up. That was the Bad Part.

I haven't had to wake up at 4 in the morning... um, when have I ever woken up at 4am? Oh, I've gotten up at 2am, actually, when I was younger and my insane mother would drag me out to SA for sandwiches and then drive out into the fields of Wisconsin or Northern Minnesota in order to watch a big meteor shower. And I occasionally wake up due to chronic insomnia.

But this was different. I volunteered for this.

So up I got at 4am. So that we could all run around like crazed chickens, trying to figure out exactly what we should pack and haul with us to the American Idol registration line.

Out the door we piled, heading for SA... and of course as we neared our first destination, we realized that we had forgotten the only actually required item: my identification, which we had spent quite a bit of time and money procuring the day before.

So we dropped mom off to load up on provisions while dad and I headed back for said I.D. By the time we got back, mom was loaded down with two bags of food and beverages. Just enough to take the edge off, in other words. Hey, I'm 16. "Feed Me" is my Theme Song.

It was still dark by the time we got to the Target Center. The line didn't look too long, so we thought, "Great, we don't have to take the camp chairs after all!" and waved goodbye to dad as we headed optimistically for what seemed to be the end of the line.

Except it wasn't the end of the line. The line we saw ended just before the corner. When we got to said corner we realized there was just a big gap in the line, protected by equally large security guards. The line continued around the corner and down the entire block. And around *that* corner, and down most of *that* block. Where we were was actually closer to the entrance than the people who had lined up several hours before we had... unfortunately the line did not travel in two directions, so we knew we had a longer wait in front of us than we'd originally hoped.

And THAT was when we thought registration would start at 6am, as advertised on the Idol website. But what they probably meant was that they would start setting up tables and drinking coffee at 6.

So we stood. Front to back, side by side. A lot like cattle in a chute. Moo.

And we stood.

And we stood. For 4 hours.

Finally we moved! Five feet! And then stopped. But it was very exciting. I've never heard such a huge cheer for such a small accomplishment. Well, not since the play we performed for our parents in preschool.

Then we stood.

Over the next hour and a half or so, it was a human version of a really nasty rush hour traffic jam. But people waited patiently, and seemed heartened by the occasional movement. And we did finally reach our destination.

Which involved less than two minutes of showing I.D. to a young guy sitting at a makeshift table, getting wristbands attached to our arms and being warned not to get them too wet or blurring the numbers by which I would be called for the audition. We weren't informed exactly how I am to take a bath/shower and accomplish this feat - are they expecting their contestants on Friday to smell like... well, the cattle we resembled during the last few hours?

Tomorrow it will only be worse. We'll be getting up earlier. We'll be standing in line longer: if the website said registration opens at 6, and that auditions open at 8, what does that mean in terms of actually getting in on Friday, when we look at our experience on Wednesday?

And what will be our mood by then, with the addition of nerves and irritating singing on all sides?

Moo.